Are you serious?

Yes, I think this time I might actually be serious about this! I did so well yesterday (yes, I'm bragging) that I think I might truly be motivated to make this happen. Twelve weeks from now is the first full week in January. Wouldn't it be nice to have lost 20 pounds by then instead of wanting to? Yes, I think it would.

What was my motivation? Actually, it was someone I motivated a few years ago. What goes around comes around, huh? Long story short, I saw a picture of someone that I didn't even recognize because he'd lost so much weight. He did Body for Life just like Dana and I did and has kept the weight off for 2 years. He looks great! And I'm embarassed that my fat jeans are getting too tight. Something had to be done.

I also heard recently on TV that weight loss is attributed to 80% to what you eat and only 20% to how much you exercise. Now I know exercise is important, but I also know that when I was exercising and not losing weight, I wasn't following my diet 100%. More like 50% and that was on a good day.

I'm also keeping a food journal. Monday was a wash, but yesterday was GREAT!

Fat Grams: 4.5
Calories: 622

When I leave work today:
Fat Grams: 9
Calories: 752

Today is much different from yesterday; I brought a different variety of foods, but all are healthy. I exercised last night and Sunday. And I'm feeling so good about this. There's candy and Coke in the office and I haven't touched either. And you know that cold Coke in the refrigerator is calling my name!!

Hopefully, this one is for real!!

Here I go again on my own

Are you tired of this? I know I am. So tired of writing that I'm really going to do it this time, and caving days, or even hours later. Dana has a goal to lose 50 pounds by Christmas, and it seems up to me, at least partially, to make it happen. I'm responsible for what's in the house to eat, so it's up to me to step up.

Last week I taped 'Denise Austin' on ESPN. Yes, the shows are older than Cassidy, but here's what I know. The last time I lost nearly 40 pounds, it was in part due to Denise Austin. So I finally did one of the routines this morning. OMG am I ever out of shape. It's almost embarassing. No, it is embarassing. Not 5 minutes into it I was huffing and puffing.

I'm happy to say that I haven't put on any weight this summer, but I certainly haven't lost any. Actually, at one point I had lost a few pounds, but quickly put that back on.

We'll see how this time turns out.

YOGA

Yes, I did Yoga on Friday. Only 30 mintues of it. . . that's about all I could take. But I figured it was a start. Then I felt guilty and did the next day's routine. Because it was Memorial Day weekend, I knew I probably wouldn't be doing much more. And I didn't. Ate a lot of junk, but did sweat A LOT at the Indy 500. (Does that count?)

Back on track today. Core synergestics this morning and sweat my butt off. At least that's what I'm hoping for.

Today's menu:

• small bowl of Special K with skim milk
• rice cakes
• small salad, 1/2 chicken breast on 1 piece of wheat bread
• yogurt
• tuna casserole

I'm on a roll!!

Tuesday was not a good day as I spend the day in Logansport with my mom, uncle and aunt. They go every year and plant flowers at the graves of their parents, brother and grandparents. In addition to that, it's a day filled with eating. Happy Burger, the root beer stand and custard. So Tuesday was not a good day, although I did not have anything at the root beer stand.

I'm really enjoying exercising on my own. Well, not enjoying exactly, but I certainly do prefer it. And it's nothing against Dana, except for the fact that he's in a good mood even at 4:30 in the morning. I even did Ab Ripper today!! I am determined to lose this belly fat.

And I've done way better on my eating. Even though I worked my ass off the last round, I'm being much more mindful of my eating this round. I know, I'm only 4 days in, but you have to get disciplined from the start or it just doesn't work. They also say it's good to keep a food journal, so I'm going to start journaling here on occasion.

Today I've had:

• 1 egg, dry toast and a few cherry tomatoes
• Nutri-grain bar
• 1/2 fillet of talapia (broiled with lemon), long grain and wild rice and green beans
• 3-4 cups water

The rest of the day I have planned:

• banana and cottage cheese (although not together, one then the other)
• grilled chicken, pasta and vegetable (not sure what the veggie will be)
• snack in the evening

Actually, I think that snack in the evening needs to be cut back on or eliminated. I always tell myself that I'm hungry and eat it anyway.

I've realized in these few short days that I'm really not as hungry and I always claimed to be. Yesterday I didn't think I was going to make it through the afternoon, but held out and drank some water. Guess what!? My hunger went away, even though my co-worker made popcorn!

I also declined to go out to the warehouse today for an hourly employee's last day. He's retiring so they had cake. (WEAKNESS!!!) I decided that it would be best if I didn't go. I probably should have since I'm in HR, but I know I would have convinced myself that one tiny little piece of cake wouldn't hurt. I know that I have to stay disciplined these first few weeks and then it will be easier to say "No" to cake.

Week 1 - Round 2

Feeling the pressure of the Class of 89 reunion in 6 weeks. So, here I go again. I finally admitted to Dana that I would prefer to work out by myself. Surprisingly, he seemed OK with that. So I got up at 4:30 this morning.

P90X has 3 different sets of routines. Classic - Lean - Doubles. We did the Classic last time and I kept feeling like I needed more cardio. The Lean routine is more focused on cardio and for those that want to lose weight. So I am doing that set instead. It still incorporates weight training, but the focus is on cardio. You don't lose weight without cardio.

And I'm determined to be more focused on what I'm eating this time. So far today I've had:

• an omelet made with one whole egg and 2 egg whites, a piece of wheat toast (dry) and a few cherry tomatoes
• nutri grain bar
• cottage cheese, 1/2 cucumber and yogurt
• about 5 cups of water (I've been in the bathroom 3 times)

Surprisingly, I have not put on any weight since we finished our 12 weeks. I don't know how, but I'll take it. So my realistic goal for my reunion is 10 pounds. That would make me very happy!!

Have you called Jenny, yet?

No, but perhaps I should.

End of 12 weeks

Dana and I have come to the end of our 12-week journey. I was so excited when we started that I thought I would be posting some fabulous pics of myself in my bikini by this time. But, alas, weight loss has not been quite so attainable as it was a few years ago.

I have lost a grand total of 7 pounds. That's right!! Seven whole pounds!I had fully expected to have lost 15-20 pounds by Cassidy's birthday, which was last week. Very depressing.

So, I suppose I better re-think our strategy and gear up for the next 12 weeks. In 12 weeks, I have my 20-year class reunion. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm OK with the way I look and certainly wouldn't be embarassed to show up at my reunion. But that's just it. "I'm OK with the way I look." I don't want to keep telling myself that I look pretty good for a 38-year-old mother of 2. I'd prefer to look like an awesome for a 38-year-old mother of 2. I know, I've completely lost my mind.

I had a few things happen this weekend (don't even ask) that really depressed me and I'm determined to get some of this weight off. I'm also determined to wear a bikini on my vacation this year.

Wish me luck!

. . .positive attitude. . . positive attitude. . .

Unfortunately, not much to report

Some good news. I wore a pair of jeans last week that I haven't worn in YEARS!! So that was good news. However, those damn scales aren't moving. When my mom was doing a weight loss program a few years ago, she went to weekly meetings and talked about facing the white beast - the scales. The White Beast, indeed!

I'm trying to not get frustrated, but we're, what?, 8 weeks into this and I haven't lost 10 pounds. I really was not expecting this. It was not this hard the last time. We're working our asses off exercising, so I decided I'd better start eating less. I've been eating less this week hoping that will help. I don't see how it could hurt. I really haven't been eating that much as it is. UGH!!!!

Dana on the other hand. . . his thighs are rock hard. Mine are still flabby.

Hang in there, Amy, hang in there.

I LOST 2 MORE POUNDS

OK, I know it's not earth shattering, but when you've seen that number remain the same for the better part of 4 weeks, you get really excited when it comes down! So my total weight loss is probably a whopping 5 pounds. That's about a pound a week. . . it's a start.

I have noticed some of my clothes fitting better, too. I had on a pair of pants yesterday that I normally can't wear my high heels with. Well, I can now. If I don't, they drag the floor a little. That's what happens when your big butt isn't hiking them up! And the dress I'm wearing today. . . the front used to be longer than the back (again with the big butt) and today it looks more like it should.

And things don't jiggle as much as they used to. I don't notice things moving around so much when I run up the stairs. And I can also run up the stairs more easily now. Funny how a little exercise will do that. ;-)

Last week was not very good. We didn't eat the best and only exercised 2 times, I think. This week has been better. There's even a box of donuts in our office today, and so far I've managed to stay away from them. And since getting on the scales, I think I may be successful in staying away!!

I'm also encouraged because on The Morning Show this week they had a trainer on the show. She said that most people have hit a plateau in their New Year's Resolution and aren't really feeling anything from their workouts. Their bodies have gotten used to it. Not with P90X!!!! Dana and I are feeling it. Muscle confusion. . . it's a good thing.

Quick Update

I don't have much time, but thought I'd write a little today. We're half way through week 4 and I'm still as frustrated as ever. Well, maybe that's not a true statement. But I am still frustrated.

I've lost 2-3 pounds, but Dana says he can tell. I don't know. He says my butt looks smaller. And I did carry a lot of my weight there, so I suppose it's possible that I've lost 2 pounds off my ass. But clothes still don't feel any different. I keep waiting to pull something out of the closet that I haven't worn in a while and say "Wow! This fits a lot bigger!!" That still hasn't happened.

Today we did Kenpo X which is essentially kickboxing. Although some of the moves really make you feel the burn (a good thing) I can do the 30-40 seconds of jumping jacks now! I couldn't do that 4 weeks ago!! I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but stand up right now and do jumping jacks for 30 seconds. Let me know how you feel!

Week 3

Isn't week 3 supposed to be easier than week 2? P90X has proven this theory to be wrong. Instead of getting easier, the workouts are getting harder. While I'll admit that I did start out slow, I really thought it wouldn't hurt as much by week 3. I guess that's a good thing. The program is built on "muscle confusion" (did I mention that already) and I think my body is confused.

I know I said I wouldn't get on the scales until the end of the week, but I couldn't take it any longer. In 2 1/2 weeks, I've lost about a pound. Dana's lost 10. Yeah, for him, but I'm frustrated.

Free Day Sucks

We are following the Body For Life eating plan. Here's how it works. You eat 6 meal a day. Each meal consists of a portion of protein and carbohydrate. Two of those meals you add a vegetable. Portions are smaller (size of your fist of the palm of your hand) but since you are eating every few hours, it levels your metabolism and you can eat less. You do this 6 days a week, then you have FREE DAY! Free day helps to keep me on track because I know that if I can hold out until Sunday, I can eat whatever I want. A reward, if you will.

Last week's free day went pretty well. We didn't go crazy, but did have dark chocolate M&Ms, pop and pizza. We used to always say "Free day sucks" because when you've eaten well all week, then go nuts for a day, you feel like shit. Which might actually be more the purpose of free day.

But yesterday, Dana and I were both saying "Free day sucks." Again, we didn't go crazy. Pizza and pop again, and this weeks treat was Brownies. Here's the other thing with free day: You have to eat whatever is in the house, or you'll be tempted to eat it the next week. So we were pigging out on Brownies, and we paid for it.

The scales became my friend again last week. They were down 1.5 pounds on Friday. But I have vowed to not get on them again until this weekend. We'll see how I do.

No yoga again.

No, we didn't get up and do yoga this morning. Lifting weights, hell, even jumping around is one thing on a -10 degree morning, but yoga. . . well, that's another story. I can get up and lift weights and jump, but I'm not dragging my ass out of bed when it's 10 below to do yoga.

Dana was again telling me how he's lost like 5 pounds. I got on the scales today and it's a pound heavier. SIGH. Getting started is so friggin' hard. So as much as I'd really like to have a coke (I had one Tuesday), I'm going to hold out. Today's lunch consisted of a few pieces of sliced ham on a piece of bread along with some carrots and cucumber. Oh, and a glass of water.

I know I shouldn't get on the scales as often as I do, but it's hard no to. You want so badly to see that number get smaller, that each day you think "Today's the day!" I need to check it once a week and be done with it.

Perhaps in another week I'll see some results.

I don't look that bad, do I?

Oh, yes. . . yes you do.

It's Day 9 and we finally took our Day 1 pictures. I doubt much has changed, so I'm sure it's still an accurate depiction of what we look like. What a sobering experience that was.

First we took pictures in our workout clothes, which is never flattering, then stripped down to our skivvies, which was even less flattering. I was so depressed looking at those pictures. It's one thing to look at yourself in the mirror, but it's a whole other thing to step back and look at yourself. Especially the parts you don't see, like your back. Oh. . . . my. . . . . god.

Even though I'm pretty much the same weight I was after having Katie, I had myself convinced that I was "carrying" this weight better. Uh, no, you're not. You're carrying it just as badly as you did before, you just can't use the excuse that you just had a baby. The only excuse you have is that you have been lazy and just not cared anymore. And that's no excuse.

After seeing those pictures, I surely do care now. It's taken some time to put this weight on, but I know in a mere 12 weeks I can take it off. TWELVE WEEKS!! That's really not that long. Cassidy's 13th birthday is in 12 weeks. I can weight 25 pounds less by then. I've done it before, and I'm pretty sure I can do it again. No, I know I can do it again.

I ate a little less cereal this morning, and brought a little less food today. I'm not saying I need to starve myself, but I wasn't that hungry at all last week. So maybe I need to be a little more hungry. I know, it's only week 1, give it some time. But I have been eating better. That's got to count for something.

Dana claims to have lost about 5 pounds already, but he's got more to lose. (Another cop out?)But it's also very frustrating for me. I know what will happen though. He'll lose a bunch of weight, then hit a plateau. Then I'll start losing, and he'll get frustrated. Then I'll hit my plateau. But in the end, we'll both have achieved our goals.

So the battle begins.

I hate that my fat jeans fit - My 90 day goal

My fat jeans
A little bit about the title of my blog. I have one pair of jeans that I've been wearing the hell out of for the last few months. They are what I call my "fat jeans". A few years ago I couldn't even wear them because I could barely keep them up. I used to have two pair, but this summer I was desperate for something to wear to soccer practice, so I made one of them into "capris". A little trashy, I know, but it worked in a pinch.


I also have 2 other pairs of jeans that fit me, but that's only because they are stretch denim. Now if you haven't had any stretch denim lately, they're actually very nice. They're both Baby Phat jeans and I love them. But if they weren't stretch, I wouldn't be wearing them.


I have a drawer full of jeans that no longer fit me. Along with a number of suits, dresses and shorts. I've realized that it's my bottom half that carries my weight. Sure, some of my tops and jackets are a little tight, but I can still wear most of them. But the pants, skirts and shorts. . . NO WAY!! The only skirt that still fits me is an elastic waist.

My 90 Day Goal
In 90 days, I would like to lose 20-25 pounds. Here are some of my current stats:

My current body fat percentage (based on height, weight and age) is 32.9%. Normal is 21-32%. If I lose 25 pounds, that puts me at 27.6%, which is in the middle or normal.

My current BMI (based on height and weight) is 24.8. Normal is 18.5-25. If I lose 25 pounds, I will be at 20.4.

I am currently at the high end of my weight range for my height. Normal is 104-140. (I'll let you guess what my actual weight is.) When I was at the doctor last month, he looked at my weight and said, "Hmmm, you're weight is OK." Gosh, I think he was being very nice. I'm teatering on being overweight. And depending on the scales, time of day, or time of month, I am overweight.

I also know that the older you get, the harder it is to lose weight. I feel like if I can lose 20-25 pounds now, I'll be in better shape to keep it off later. I've also learned that once you lose it, you have to stick with it. DUH!! It's just been in the last 18 months or so that I've let myself gain weight and I know exactly why. It's not like I've been trying to stay in shape. Dana and I are determined to lose this weight, again!!

Oh, and did I mention that my 20-year class reunion is this year? I wonder if that has anything to do with it?

Blog #2 - I must be crazy!!!

I'm not so sure that I'm prepared to manage 2 blogs at the same time, but again, my friend Janice inspired me to do this. I was thinking of doing it anyway, and she was interested in keeping up with how we were doing, and I wasn't quite so sure I wanted to do it on my "regular" blog.

So, here is Amy's Diet Blog, entry #1.

If nothing else, this will serve as a journal for me and my quest to lose some weight and get healthy in 2009. Perhaps I'll inspire you to exercise more, eat better and/or be on your way to a healthier you as well!!! We've only got a limited amount of time on this crazy planet, and frankly, I'd like to feel the best that I can with the time that I've got!